8 Christmas Gifts For Your Zombie Friends
For many, Zombies are simply a very real part of your life now. But what do you get them for Christmas?
We saw it this weekend while shopping for gifts. Couples standing in line at the checkout asking:
“What do we get Zombie George?”
“What do you think Zombie Barbara would like?”
“Does Zombie Suzy have one of these?”
Listen, we know. We know!! Shopping for your zombie friends is difficult.
Well, fret not, for we are here to assist you in these important matters. (Truly this is an emotional breakthrough for some…here’s a tissue. Remember, it’s…all…going…to…be…ok!)
Now, let’s make that shopping list for your favorite zombie.
This first on the list is also perhaps the most practical.
8. Needles and thread.
Zombies always seem to be falling apart at the seams. So help them get their life together…literally!
7. Undead Nursery Rhymes (And Other Literature).
Yes, your zombie friends still like to read, so get them “Jack and Jill Went Up To Kill: A Zombie Book of Nursery Rhymes” or other appropriate reading material to help them keep their, well, brains sharp.
Ha! (pun may or may not have been intended…YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!)
6. A treadmill.
This is for a zombie’s incessant need to walk after something or somebody. Set it up for them with a video of humans running in front of it. (Let’s just hope their arms don’t detatch while they are holding on to the rails.)
5. Meat-flavored toothpaste.
Yes, they make this, and there is nothing quite as humorous as seeing a group of your zombie friends crowded in your bathroom squeezing this delicacy into each other’s mouths, clamoring over each other for more.
What pre-packaged blood bags are to Vampires, SPAM is to Zombies.
Get ‘em a bunch of it! It might just save your life.
3. Inflatable Brain.
Because zombies need toys, too.
And you thought this was numero uno! Nope. But it is a close second.
So (as an alternative to the real thing), get a jello-mold in the shape of a brain. Mix into the jello some pre-thawed chicken that you’ve left about for a few days and serve it up at your Christmas party.
You’ll be a hit and it could very well be a new holiday food tradition for them. (Plus, it takes the craving for the real thing away for a bit.)
And the number one item on a Zombie Friend’s Christmas Shopping List is…
I mean, COME ON!!! It’s BACON! Folks, this is the most addictive food on the planet according to experts.
It’s the MEAT of meats, and it’s just as addictive after turning into a zombie as it is to those of us on this side of the turn.
Wanna make your zombie friend feel the love? Bacon.
So, there you go. A few ideas to help you out while shopping for your zombie friends.
Let us know if we can assist you further this holiday season. Glad to be here for you during the difficult moments of your Christmas shopping. 🙂
Merry Christmas from @TheMonsterGuys!